Feeling left out
Hi guys!!!! It's a new Friday and so I've got a new topic for you. But before we go into this, I want to give you a little update on the last post.
I feel so much more confident and I learnt so much once I was able to write it all down.
Okay, so back to the matter open and close.
So I was reading my Bible as usual (by the grace of God) and I was reading the story of Solomon and how he became king.
His elder brother Adonijah had planned to take over the kingdom of Israel in a snakey way. David their father was ill and the people knew that his time to die was creeping closer.
So because he wanted to be king and he knew that God and David hadn't chosen him to be king, he decided to have a coronation party and took some of David's advisors and had them declare him king.
Now here's the point of this story in this particular article. Adonijah invited basically everyone but a select few, including Solomon and his mother.
In those circumstances, I would've felt left out. I don't know about you guys, but I've felt left out several times in this short life of mine.
Like when my friends plan a day out and I find out on Instagram, or even just when I was in a different place and my friends or family were going for a particular event or thing and I couldn't go or be there.
Or even in uni when some of my friends would share an experience and I'd feel so lost in the conversation because I didn't have a clue what they were talking about.
I've felt left out several times and it's not the best feeling. But here's where things pick up for Solomon.
The select few men that weren't selected to go with Adonijah went to Solomon's mum and told her to go speak to her husband David. You see, apparently, David had promised Solomon's mum that Solomon would become king. So they advised her to remind David of his promise and inform him of what Adonijah was doing.
Here's the thing, Solomon wasn't a party to this discussion or the plans between David and his mum. He also wasn't invited by his brother to the crowning, but guess what!!!! He had his coronation party and Israel celebrated with him.
David had them bring Solomon to him, had Solomon anointed as king, and sit on his throne as king.
Now, here's my question. Would it have worked out this way if Solomon had been invited to Adonijah's usurping plan? I personally don't think so. If the person they wanted to crown king was at the coronation of the usurper there would have been so many issues and I personally wouldn't have bothered going to the king. It's even quite possible that David would've ignored them if Solomon hadn't been available at the time
Now don't get me wrong o, not every meet up that you're not invited to is meant for your uplifting lool, or is saving you or etc.
But there's something I've been learning recently that's kind of made me see things in a totally different way.
So what have I learnt?
I've learnt that it's not every occasion I'm supposed to be a part of. Just because people I know and/or love are there doesn't mean I'm meant to be there. Sure you might feel a sting because you either weren't invited or you were unable to attend or be there, or get involved in the conversation. But just because you missed out on something doesn't mean you actually suffered a loss from your lack of attendance or involvement.
For me, it used to hurt if I was free and I knew that I could've been a part of it. But I recently learnt to create my own experiences myself. I don't think there's any way that I'd feel left out if I was legitimately enjoying my company and satisfied with what I was doing.
I've learnt not to live life waiting for people before I experience things or do certain things. So I've started taking myself out, meeting people outside of my original circle and I've just been living a full life.
If you're stuck waiting for people to involve you in things, you'll spend your life feeling left out and feeling unfulfilled. But if you take responsibility for your life and do the things that make you happy, you live a fuller life.
So when you're invited or included it's an addition to your life, not the fullness of it. And when you're not invited, it wouldn't hurt. Because guess what? Everybody is doing their best to live a full and happy life. You won't always get invited and you won't always invite everyone.
I think most times we feel left out because we feel like we've missed out on something. So the solution to that is to create your own moments of enjoyment. And guess what? Back to Solomon, you might actually find treasure when you find yourself 'left out'.
So what's the purpose of my speech? Create experiences for yourself and don't dismiss people because they didn't invite you lol. Life is full of so many good opportunities to have fun and live a full life. So take charge of your life and don't wait on people.
If you feel left out, examine why you feel that way, then find a solution to it. Be kind to yourself and others. Get to know yourself, meet new people, and sustain old friendships. There's a purpose for their existence in your life.
If you find yourself becoming bitter towards a certain person or certain people, examine yourself to ensure you're not the problem. If after careful and objective evaluation you realise that the people are the problem, maybe they're not meant to be in your life.
Constantly evaluate your life and above all walk with God.
Anyways, as usual, I love you and most importantly God loves you. So if you feel left out, just turn to God. You're never alone when you have God.