The praying dad
Okay let's talk about something that bugs me just a little bit. It's the belief that a home has to have a prayerful mother, but with no expectations placed on the father. P.S this topic came about because I heard my mum praying downstairs while I was trying to write.
I don't know about you, but I've seen a few skits where the child is sleeping, it's 2:00am and the mother comes in, lays her hand on the child's head and starts praying on the child (stststststststs). Don't get me wrong o, I deffo laughed at those videos. In fact, I showed them to my mum, because that's exactly what she does. She's such a prayerful woman and I've learnt so much from her.
My only issue with this is that I don't see that many videos going round celebrating or promoting the prayerfulness of men. The current norm has the wives and mothers carrying the spiritual load of the family. So men are taught to desire and go for a prayerful woman because she must pray for the home and fight the spiritual battles for the home, while women are trained to be prayerful. Please, miss me with that.
It's almost the same as the belief that it's okay for a guy to have sex before marriage, but if a woman does it's an issue. But y'all aren't ready for that conversation, and in all honesty, neither am I.
So here's my issue with this. We're in a world where the role of a man and woman has been switched in some form. Currently, there are a lot of homes without fathers and some homes where the father isn't fulfilling his role. Please let's not deceive ourselves, men and women are not the same, so we have different roles.
Again don't get me wrong, I believe in equality between the sexes. No one should be treated as inferior, especially not because of their gender. But life works in equity. There are things that I can do that my sister can't do and things I can do that she can. There are roles that mothers play that a father can't, but there are responsibilities that a father has that a woman just can't do.
Now here's the crux of my point. We've allowed unfortunate circumstances to dictate how life should be lived. We've had women take the role of prayer warriors in the home in the past because their husband wouldn't do it. So the mothers took on that role. But if y'all go back to the Bible and the way things were before, the father's blessing carried a massive amount of weight.
A prayerful father is so so important to the success of a home. The man is the head of the home, he takes instructions from God and leads with love. But how can he truly lead a home when He doesn't even communicate with God or hear from God? How can you expect a woman to submit to a man who doesn't submit to God?
Btw, I'm not here to talk about submission. I just want to point out the fact that while I admire and appreciate women who take on the role of the prayerful warrior in the home, I believe that the husband should also be up there praying.
Women must pray and have a relationship with God. Their prayers for their family are very important. I'm trying to grow to a point where I also hit the mark and stay prayerful and in constant communication with God. But one thing that I've learnt is that I must marry a man who also communes with God much more than I do. And if not more, then at least in equal levels. Why?
Because it's hard to submit to a man who doesn't hear from God. It's hard to build a home where one partner doesn't have the ability to carry a part of their responsibility.
So can we please stop expecting less from our men and disregarding the fact that they don't even know that it's their responsibility?
When you enter a church, you'll notice that there are more women in the churches than men. I think it's quite sad.
We need to start teaching our sons, our friends and our brothers that it is also their role to be prayerful. That they shouldn't just rely on the woman for spiritual battle or prayers, but that they should be standing at the front as well praying with as much vim and sincerity as the woman.
Imagine how beautiful such a home would be. Imagine having a home where you and your partner hear from God and are intimate with God. Where God is, perfection is. Where God is, peace is.
I've been privileged to be part of a home where both of my parents are prayerful. My father is up every morning by around 3:00am praying. He doesn't have to come to our rooms in the middle of the night to lay his hands on our heads, but he has taught us the importance of prayer in a home and not just by words, but by his actions.
So men, while you're out there looking for a woman that prays, please make sure that you're also a praying man. Make sure that you're worthy of a praying woman and that you won't be a weight that pulls down instead of a hand that lifts the home.
So here's the lesson I've learnt: I cannot afford to lower my expectations when it comes to the responsibility a man should carry spiritually. If God doesn't know him, I can't marry him. If he's not led by God, I can't marry him. But also, my husband and I must teach our son his role as a man and the importance of him being in constant communication with God.
NOTICE: I'll be posting my blogs bi-weekly from now on for personal reasons. I really thank you guys for staying on and reading. I've learnt so much from writing to you guys and I hope you're enjoying and learning from this.
As always, I love you and God loves you.