Beauty Standards

Hi guys!! I'm not even gonna lie I'm so upset right now. I'd written this whole post and I promise you it was beautiful and I was so excited. Then it disappeared. I mean everything that I'd worked on for hours just disappeared. But I can't afford to just give up or let it go, I've shed my tears and that's okay. I hold myself to a better standard, so, here it goes guys written again, differently, but from the heart...

So I thought I'd write about beauty today. I was scrolling through Instagram and it had me thinking about beauty standards and how they always shift and always have a negative effect.

I'm aware that we've reached an era where everyone is promoting self-love, and self-love has so many aspects to it. It's not just about loving the way you look, but also about treating yourself well, creating boundaries and so many other things.

But I really just want to focus on beauty standards. I've come to realise that throughout history, beauty standards have changed. The one consistent thing about beauty standards is that they constantly change and people always try to fit the changing mould.

I find this so frustrating because beauty standards have a way of making beautiful people think that they're not so beautiful. It has people changing things about them, that come together to make them uniquely themselves. It deceives people by making them think that beauty is what society makes it.

So if society says a certain feature is beautiful, the majority start to believe and follow that concept, disregarding all others. I remember that when I was younger the beauty standards were totally different compared to what we have now.

I mean, if you consider the sitcoms and shows we used to watch then, women with hips and bums weren't considered attractive. You'd see the women wishing they had smaller hips and bums, or others making fun of them for it. However, we have women going through surgery to get what people scoffed at in the 90s.

In the same era, dark-skinned people weren't deemed beautiful, but now we can't help but declare from the skies that black is beautiful and stunning, and a woman with nice hips and a bum has a beautiful shape.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that it's wrong for society to declare that black is beautiful and shapely women are beautiful. I'm just saying that society has a way of ostracising those who don't fit the mould of what they consider beautiful at a certain time. By doing this, beauty standards make some people feel body ugly and so they start to desire to look a certain way.

This is why we have people taking out bank loans to get lip fillers, bbl's, and different types of surgeries to fit in, or to be seen as beautiful. In an effort to present a body beautiful to society, some have lost their lives under a surgeons' blades. It's so unfortunate because in setting beauty standards, we tell those that don't fit that mould, that they're not beautiful. Except they are.

I've always known this, but I've come to fully appreciate the fact that God made everyone beautiful. Everybody is beautiful in their own way. We all have beautiful features, but we're not all recognised in our beauty by every sphere of society at the same time. What some consider exquisitely beautiful may not be another's idea of beauty. Sadly, some people's features are only recognised once they're dead. Why? Because society wasn't ready for them at that time.

You know what makes it funny? The fact that beauty standards actually vary per region, culture, time, country, etc. This means that in this year 2022, so many countries have different beauty standards.

I remember my friend telling me that when she was in Nigeria people called her ugly, but when she came to UK for the first time, a stranger came up to her and told her that she was beautiful. A look that others scorned was one that people admired elsewhere.

Does that mean that the people in Nigeria were blind? No, it just means that they'd set their standards and because she didn't look like it and fit in, they didn't think she was beautiful. I mean when I was around 11 years old, a girl I'd met at a church programme said I was 'bleak'. At the time I didn't know what it meant so I asked my friend and she said it meant that I was blacker than black and it was meant as an insult. I was really hurt at the time and I cried. But when my friend showed me an example of what 'bleak' looked like, I didn't agree with the girl's assessment so I discarded it.

I think that's what we need to do. We need to shirk and disregard the standards that society tries to create for us and actually decide what we think is beautiful. Because as cliche as this may sound, beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. But the beholder can either allow society to dictate beauty to them or the beholder can open their hearts and eyes to the beauty that's all around them.

I remember watching Top Model when I was younger and this lady with vitiligo was chosen as a model and styled and I saw how beautiful she was. I can only imagine the number of people with vitiligo who came before her and never thought they were beautiful. It wasn't a celebrated difference at that time, but now people can appreciate the beauty of the different colours.

It wasn't that they weren't beautiful before, it's just that people started to recognise the beauty after it was thrust in their face. So imagine living a life based on the standards of a society that has closed its eyes and heart to the beauty all around it.

I think we need to open our eyes and stop being so close-minded when determining what is and isn't beautiful. I remember that when I was little I wasn't a fan of beards and moustaches on a guy and now I like them. This doesn't mean that I now think less of men who don't have a beard or moustache, it just means that I see beauty in more than just one form.

So it's okay to declare that something or someone is beautiful. But what isn't okay, is declaring that things that don't fit in aren't as beautiful. Because everyone truly is beautiful in their own way.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that you're beautiful. Regardless of what society thinks or doesn't think, you remain beautiful. Your beauty isn't dependent on acknowledgment, it just is. So it doesn't matter if you don't fit in or you're not the 'normal' beauty, or what society calls beauty. Because different is beautiful. There's something so beautiful about being you and being confident in that.

Just because someone doesn't call a spade a spade, doesn't mean that it's not a spade anymore. It's the same with beauty. Just because society hasn't deemed something beautiful, it doesn't mean that it isn't. It's up to you to call yourself beautiful. I also think we owe the world a responsibility to see the beauty of all people and in all things.

But you know what? True beauty actually comes from inside guys. Beauty shines brighter when a heart is full of love, light, and kindness. Now this article isn't about attraction, because you can't be attracted to everything and everyone. I just believe that we shouldn't disregard the beauty of a person or a thing just because there isn't an attraction.

Anyways, as always, I love you and more importantly, God loves you.

Love,

Esther xoxo