Be Set Apart

So for those who don't know, I'm a PK (pastor's kid). My parents have been pastors for many years now, since I was like 14 years old (this makes me feel old loooool).

Anyways, one thing my mum has always said is "others may, but you may not". At the time I really hated it when she said that. It was so frustrating, and I thought it was really unfair that what was okay for others was apparently an abomination for me. I'm a firm believer in things being fair and equal for everyone, so at the time I really didn't like the fact that other children were celebrated or complimented for things that I wasn't even allowed to do.

Like the children could make noise, play around, wear whatever and there would be no repercussions, or people would compliment them. So best believe, it rankled me. However, growing up, I realised that my mum was right. She was absolutely correct.

The thing is, the moment you hold a position or you stand for something, people will watch and judge you. They will look at everything you're doing, break it down and criticise anything they perceive to be wrong or a mistake. At the time that I thought my mum was being unfair, if I had behaved or dressed the same way other children in the church or anywhere else had, people would've found something negative to say. While they would've celebrated another child for it, they would've said things like "what are her parents teaching her?", "why is she always hanging around those people?" etc.

Because when you are different from others, or hold a position, people will criticise you. They will try to suss out your flaws, either to make themselves feel better, or to reassure themselves that they're following the right person, or to assure themselves that you're just like them, flawed.

So if they don't find anything, they become reassured. But the moment they start to nit-pick your character, the things you say, the things you do etc, and they find flaws, they feel justified in thinking less of you. It's what I've seen in this world, I'm not even talking about the church setting lol.

So what do you do in such a situation? You set yourself apart.

Now I'm talking as a Christian and a black woman. This applies to everyone though, set yourself apart. Be different, you don't have to do what others are doing or follow the crowd. That usually doesn't get you anywhere.

If you consider the society today, a Caucasian man or woman could hold a certain position and be bold, speak their minds etc and they'd be praised for it, but a black person could be called aggressive. I'm not saying this happens all the time, but it's an example of some of the double standards that we face today. Keeping in mind that everyone has had to face some form of double standard, whether black, white, Asian etc.

I know it's not fair, but truly to hold a position of power and a position that teaches and commands respect for you and what you stand for, you have to hold yourself to a high standard. Others may, but you may not. You have to consider whether what you want to do will affect your brand, what you represent or what you stand for.

There are somethings that are not sins in the Bible, but because I know it will affect someone's faith, or paint a bad light on Christ, I refrain from doing them. There are also somethings that are sins, but that people argue about that I won't do. Simply because I know that I'm standing for and representing Christ.

What do you do when you encounter tough moral decisions? What do you do when you're put in a difficult position? What choices do you make to keep yourself happy and comfortable? What words do you speak? How do you carry yourself?

These are very important questions. We all stand for something, if it's not religion, then it's your brand, if not your brand then the business or organisation you work for, if not that, then your parents, your family, your culture and even yourself. We're all representatives of things that we're linked to. So when people look at us, do we represent those things or people well, or do we do whatever we like, disregarding the consequences or the impact, simply because others are able to?

Life isn't always going to be easy and I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy your life, be happy and be you. I'm only asking that you be the best YOU. Do the best that you can to be better each day and to improve each day. Put forward the best of yourself because you're representing something. When you represent something, they tag that thing what you've shown them.

For instance, with the Black Lives Matter, some businesses have been boycotted because of who they've chosen as ambassadors and how they've presented themselves. The businesses may have worth and goods that we'd all benefit from, but those who haven't appreciated the way the business has represented themselves have decide not to have anything to do with the business again.

Now while there are people who have done the same thing that some of these businesses have done, they haven't suffered the same backlash because they're not representing anything and they have nothing to lose. Meanwhile, the businesses do, which is why they're so careful when branding themselves and when choosing ambassadors.

It's the same thing for us. We may have so much to give and offer, but if we carry ourselves or represent ourselves in a negative light and we don't set ourselves apart from the norm and the run of the mill, people won't buy into us. Businesses won't buy into what we're representing. The world won't buy into the Christ that I preach.

I have to hold myself to a higher standard than the world holds itself to because the world has to see something in me that it doesn't see in itself. It has to see something in me that draws it to Christ. You can only draw people to what you represent by showing them that you're different from them, that you have something to offer, that you have something they don't have. Be set apart, but also be reachable.

One of my main focusses on this blog is to make sure people resonate with what I'm saying and that people can know that they're not alone. The only thing is, I'm talking from my own perspective and from the lessons I've learnt so far. So people who are interested will read, resonate and return, because they've found something that this blog adds to them. It could be entertainment, lessons, a feeling of belonging etc. The moment some people see something in me to criticise, is the moment that what I say loses value to them..

My point is, be set apart, be different, represent yourselves well. Others may, but you may not.

Remember that I love you and most importantly, God loves you.

Esther xoxo